in celebration of my 31 years, let me share with you 31 lessons i have learned the hard way. if i could write a letter to my 18 year old self, it would contain these words. hopefully, it would help someone out there who is going through something.

(in no particular order)

1.) when a guy cries in front of you, it doesn't necessarily mean he is telling the truth. he may just be a scumbag who knows how to play your weak spot.
2.) trust your instincts. no matter how outrageous they are, it will always lead you to where you are supposed to be.
3.) know when to let go. of things, emotions and most importantly of people. they too have expiry dates in our lives.
4.) it is not enough that you know your worth, be able to gauge when you are short changed and do something about it.
5.) some people are stuck in a never ending cycle, don't be caught up in their drama.
6.) tears eventually turns to laughter. it may seem impossible to believe when you are drowning in tears but hang on, you will see the comic side of it all in time.
7.) know when to fight and when to surrender.
8.) you can only count on yourself. your friends and family may be there for you but at the end of it all, it will still be you who needs to pick up the pieces and make yourself be ok.
9.) if a guy cannot stand up and decide for himself at 26, don't count that he ever will.
10.) never second guess your decisions. if you chose that direction, then you are supposed to be there at that point in time.
11.) "even the best fall down sometimes". don't pretend to be ok/strong when you're not. it's ok to show your friends or family that you are hurting.
12.) shit happens. no matter how much you try to avoid it, there will be instances that shit will come your way, learn to deal with it.
13.) there are some friends that you hold dear in your heart but they don't necessarily feel the same way about you. let it be. you can always choose to delete them from your life.
14.) friends come and go. but there a few who stays with you no matter the distance and time that separates you. cherish them.
15.) never mix your alcohol. unless you want to be totally wasted.
16.) hugs kicks kisses ass any day. hugs are way more intimate than kisses.
17.) tip generously. especially when you are out drinking. having a very happy waiter will guarantee the best service the next time you come.
18.) be comfortable being on your own. travel alone, eat alone, watch a movie alone. if you enjoy being in your own company then others will surely enjoy being with you.
19.) travel travel travel! start locally. appreciate the beauty of your native land before appreciating a different country.
20.) know what you are working for. set goals. with these in mind, waking up each morning becomes easier.
21.) know what is important in your life.
22.) friends tell you the truth no matter how hurtful it is. if he/she withholds vital information from you coz it might hurt you, he/she is no friend.
23.) don't stay in a relationship just because you are afraid... of being alone, of the future, of change. once you get over the fear, you realize there is nothing to be afraid of.
24.) don't plan your life around someone. make your own plans.
25.) you don't need a lot of friends. just one or two whom you can call at any time of the day is enough. all the others are just considered a bonus.
26.) if you're gonna dream, dream big!
27.) never allow anyone to make you feel small or that you are not good enough, especially if they do not know you that well.
28.) when you're sad, pray. when you're lonely, pray. when you're blessed, pray. when you're happy, pray. prayer does wonders.
29.) you cant hurry love. in the same way, you cant hurry letting go and moving on. take your time. it isn't a race.
30.) you do not need alcohol to do something stupid. you just think you do coz it gives you the false courage to do what you are too weak to do sober.
31.) google is a man's new best friend. if you are in need of answers, google it!